Is my calling too my curse...

Is my calling too my curse...

Can you hear the sound of my voice and feel the elevation of my tempo when I say to you that this is my plight and not my choice?

This is my chartered path that God has enabled me to have...

I'm standing here drained physically and emotionally because what I see when you look at me is the lost young "what's in it for me.." brother whose filled with complexity...

God I hear you calling me and calling me but WHY can't I see...

Worst has come to worst and God I need to know is this truly my calling or is this my curse?

I wish I could extend my hand and grip you to equip you with all life's rules and tools...

However it takes more than a head nod and a occasional Wassup ... 

It takes a Man being a man for you to see a man that will give you the tools needed to be successful in executing your plan... As a Man.

Come on MAN!

Iron sharpeneth Iron but one has to sit still long enough to 1st Listen!

To the sound of my voice and feel... The pain that I've went through in order to get to... 

The hard lessons in life that I had to learn enabling me to properly discern...

Good from Bad... Right from Wrong and most important... How to listen to that inner voice.

Again This is my Plight and I have NO Choice... 

I am saddened by what i continuously see... in you my brothers, throughout our community...

Our mouths are filthy and we have no respect... We have no sense of financial literacy and continue to live paycheck to paycheck!

As I walk around I'm met with your pants falling down...  

And the worst of it all is that this is all intentional... 

The images in their minds is what the masses produce and choose to  present as OUR product!

We are no longer the Talented Ten... We are no longer striving to be MEN.

Our priorities are jacked and our images, swag and style remain unoriginal and sadly rehearsed...

We are choosing to still be like Mike despite his tarnished image outside the lights... See... Supply and demand is his brand and he has yet to address the fact that the African American males in our community are lacking judgement in where they place their priority! But I get it... It all comes down to the digit. Debts are on high and Funds are on low yet our young brothers find the money to cop those new Jordan's with a fresh polo!

I am because we are and my son will be an extension of me yet it's highly probable that he will be influenced by you... Who has no clue and will confuse the delicately sculpted young mind of my kin which  convolutes the cycle and continues to paint already tarnished images of black men even worst! 

God... With all due respect my question still remains the same and is not rhetorical: is my calling too my curse?

I am...

Here standing feverishly hoping that you can hear me as I Continuously... Work tirelessly... To help aid you and all the other young men I see... 

Not for you but for the generation that You can not and will not live to see...

Unfortunately...

Perhaps there will be... A revitalized entity of a strong black family...

I pray that I don't lose my voice because this is my plight in life and I simply have NO choice.

Young Man publicly you get what i pick and choose for you to see.

What you don't see is me on my knees privately... Asking God questions like Why me?

and with one last outburst!!! God, is this Calling laid upon my life too my Curse!