Picture of the Week

Photographer: Kevan L. Turman of KTImages

Model: Dion Robinson

Please comment...

It is what it is...

WHY IS IT THAT... WE...

Ignore those who adore us...

Adore those whoe ignore us...

Love those that hurt us...

and hurt those that love us?

It is what it is...

You continue to see the best in me while everyone else around me can only see the worst in me... Yet look at me. My selfishness has imperfectly blinded me to where I only see those in other directions... While you unwaveringly stand here looking directly at me. ALL you do is LOVE ME... as I continue to throw dirt and HURT.

It is what it is...

I have admired you from afar...

I speak, I tweet... There is something in you that allows me to Keep that desire for you and I to Meet... I'm not certain as to what I want to explore... Hell a true friendship would be fine with not much more... Let me be honest and just say there is something about you that I ADORE... Yet I request you as a friend and as easy as 1---2---3 you hit ignore!

Now it's time to meet you, you and you where you are. F@&! this! I can no longer be your fan while you be my star!

 Perhaps... It is what it is!

But you've made no payments towards this policy and your insurance that keeps me here has expired. You will No longer get a whole life term... I'm now meeting you 1/2 way... Either your against me or with me...

But from this point forward what you get from me is 50/50.

Portion Control

I think that you are flirting with me... Are you?

I ask this question rhetorically... because I garauntee you that my Emotion is getting ready to steal my Logic away from me!

When my retina is challenged by your gaze I find myself stuck... I can't explain it...

My vision at one point was 20/20... Now things are everything but... Things are convoluted and hazy...

BUT yet I'm intrigued!

I am justifying my defiance and starting to Squint and struggle just to keep you within my sight.

This is taking way too much energy but its something new... Something fresh... It's sorta bad... And yet kinda something I wish I had...

I can clearly see that this is NO good for me and could NEVER be my reality...Yet I absolutely Love the way you look at me.

I am surprisingly self aware but still willing to play truth or dare...

I've never been much of a gambler but the odds of this working out are slim to none... I'm too grown to be content with "just having fun..."

BUT! That's not to say that I am done...

This right here... Right now... Is infatuation... Yes! My situation.

I am thirsty and hungry literally for this serving that is no good for me and which has tons of calories and yet I still defy by my justify... in saying: Let's make sure we still see eye to eye... Before all of this truly takes it's toll...

YOU are a PORTION that I simply MUST CONTROL!

Pinky Swear...

You are the spitting image of me and yet in you is your mother and it's the spirit of Iris & Annabelle I see...

I am so in love with your mere existance and i pray that one day you will love me for me and just respect me for my persistance...

You are such the jewel... a man that could walk away from a love like this has to be a fool...

I treat you the way that I do so that the men in the future have to work hard to come close to getting at you...

You must remember that you are the best and deserve the best... and that its ok to be unlike the rest...

I want you to know how to cook and clean but i also want you to be more that just that...

You will be educated, beautiful and strong just like mommy and will be able to weather the storms and walk through fire...

I want your voice to be heard without you sacraficing your religion or your feminity...

I want you to at least know how to change a tire regardless of that inate desire...

I love you baby... you are one of the greatest parts of me... I want us to remain close as God will have us be...

You make me soo emotional by just saying Daddy... and I feel like nothing even matters when I walk through that door...

I say: "Hey baby..." and your smile (just like mommy's) is what I adore...

You make life worth living and my job is to protect you...

I promise to always be there... I Pinky Swear!

Lights...Camera... Action!

Lights, Camera... Action!

UUUUGH! I am dealing with that annoying sound that continues to permeate through my cranium...

I just put it down and now.... UUUUGH! This Sound!

This felt so good...  I wish I could...

Go back!

But! I must continue to move forward because my race Is so misunderstood...

Or are we?

Let me wipe this conjunction out my socket as I Start to face this reality while gazing into this mirror that reflects the rawest unrefined image of ME.

Another day, Another dollar... The early bird catches the worm... To be on time is to be late and to be late is... unacceptable...

But what is acceptable?

It's NOT me... If what you see... Is what you get... Can you honestly say you see me?

Now im brushing away the evidence and washing the dirt...

I have the perfect bow now I need the perfect shirt!

I am almost ready to walk this black carpet.

UUUUgh... Here we go. You know...

In order to keep what you have you must give it away...

Lord... I give myself away... I give myself away... So you can use me!

I'm ready let's get it... I've mastered my lines...

Wait... I almost forgot my mask... you know... the one that grins and lies...

Don't go there... Don't you dare... Our lives are far from fiction...

All this preparation is for me and my families protection.

The Castration of the Male Influence...

CUT! TORN! PULLED AWAY FROM my family is what my GREAT, GREAT, GREAT GRAND FATHER tried to SAY!

He said... son your problems are a direct result of the pain that those folks inflicted upon ME!

He said you have no clue... and know NOT what to do... because It all started here and without this talk and this perspective I am afraid that you'll continue to have that hunch in your walk and be viewed not as a MAJOR but merely as an ELECTIVE...

He said... young MAN you feel defeated and cheated because what you thought was your role has been stolen and now its starting to take its toll!

He said... young man you are confused and  hurt because you pride yourself on being there and being fair...  a father and more importanly being a PROVIDER...

He said my brother you are indeed the head and was not NOW... not EVER meant to be the tail...

BUT!

All this time you've been mistaken  about why you continuously feel this way.... its not YOU... it wasn't ME... It was all because WE continue to function as if we are still in SLAVERY.

He said young blood I was CUT, TORN and PULLED AWAY...

I simply wasn't able to STAY.

BUT!

The choices made TODAY... one must create a NEW DAY.

He said young buck you must understand this dinamic... the womans reaction is her natural instinct to survive! Its been transferred through the blood in her veins to be able to take care of you, her kids her home all while trying to remain SANE...

He said my GREAT GREAT GREAT Grandson you have to become the man that understands that "THIS" is a reaction to the years of being TAKEN... prior to the years where men have chosen to WALK AWAY... Which brings us to this YEAR where YOU have CHOSEN TO STAY... This generational CURSE that our culture hasn't faught against... yet simply made WORST!

He said to me... Negro don't you get it? Your women has already prepared herself for your absense. The world has proven to her that only the strong survive. Your children are THE MOST important intities in her life and your IMPORTANCE lies in you playing AGAINST...the status quo... Yes she loves you and yes she cares... but don't be confused she's always PREPARED!

He said Man.... Be the MAN that GOD called you to be. Allow him to order yours steps you watch and see. The responses that you may get from your spouse are due to the dispaportion of male influences that continue to efect us all... house to house...

He said... you must understand and stop diviating from the plan. Your orders are clear and concise... and remember this...Women only feel the need to take control when they feel that you've lost it. As we continue to pray that the effects of the past can soon move from among us... we must still remain steadfast and simply adjust.

He said... so I end this by saying thank you for reaching back to me... a blessing for which most young men fail to see. I validate your feelings and this is what I'll say...

Yes we've been castrated, cut and counted out of the family equation. The modern day women is will continue to say.... I can do this alone so have it your way... But son remember whats been said... The old way... rather forced or voluntary... is DEAD. Have compassion for your spouse as she's been raised by a strong women who was raised by someone even stronger.... because you must remember...that, that women had to one day fend for herself... once her man was no longer.

I said... Thank You.

R&B LOVE

I AM because you ARE... Therefore you ARE because I AM...
Your BOBBY and you ARE... my WHITNEY!

Does anyone out there feel me?

Maybe I see a fan... maybe a foe... either way... keep your opinion at that Door!

To you this is crazy! But in my opinion ... your opinion... is LAZY!

From your prevue this love should be EASY.

BUT this LOVE for lack of a better term is...

Filled with complexity; colorfully rare and rubust that one could compare...

To a Radient Rubic's Cube... with four sides! My side, her side, perhaps your side and the media's side...

I'm red, she's white, your wrong, I'm Right... in terms of this Proclamation of LOVE:

WHERE AS: Whitney say's that THIS is the GREATEST LOVE OF ALL and...
WHERE AS: Bobby say's that you gotta go throught the FIRE, the RAIN take the Joy and endure the PAIN..

WHERE AS: I say... LOVE... just simply... can't be explained!

Impact

IMPACT

One right click allows me to add a “New Folder”

I am able to segment your message to me and put it in into a pocket all by itself

Where at sight it sparks my memory.

I’m not sure if you understand that this is important… this new folder that is.

I could lose your correspondence your communication your mere association in an inbox or drag you kicking and screaming to my delete box but I am choosing to keep you safe in sound in this “New File”…

You see membership has its privileges… By you having this attachment to me I am able to see… you at a glance which lessons any chance… of me losing you and all your contents…

Hence… you are IMPORTANT!

You are named and segmented into a category…. Those pertaining to you or who come after you have to come through you and will forever be housed as SUB.

You are now a priority and you’ve given me access to manipulate you and I’ve given you access to manipulate me... it’s a mutual agreement to allow stimulation to occur between like minds and penetration in time… through the surface… which inevitably enables exposure and depth.

You have been set aside for a purpose… you need and deserve special attention and though you are often to the right of my screen as I peruse through both the contemporary and the debris I need you to trust that in the end you’ll see me.

I know this seems so unfair for me to put you through this. You’ve been set apart and sold this dream… I have good intentions and want you to just hold on tight… it’s that definition of faith we’ve both learned where you’ll have to trust without sight…

I have recently changed your settings and have tagged you as a priority. You are now flagged and I will receive reminders so that you and I can remain INTACT…

Because if there is one thing that I’ve learned in this life… it’s that one could give a damn about my intentions… what’s more of a concern is how I’ve managed to IMPACT.

Why?

Why?

Why do we adore those who ignore us? Ignore those who adore us? Hurt those who love us? And Love those who hurt us?

We adore those who ignore us because we are innately drawn to what’s uneasily assessable…

We are captivated by those who are unimpressionable and can care less as to whether or not we’ve entered or exited any given room…

It’s simply evident that we are intrigued by individuals that are simply unintrigued by us…

Thus… she had me at Hello…

Hello… Good Bye

Hello… Good Bye….

Hello…        Good Bye…

You see once you’ve acknowledged me … it became clear to me… that I have your undivided attention…

Not to mention… that the chase is over…

And as with being a product of Lust we always end up ignoring those who adore us.

Understand this clearly; I didn’t want you until you ignored me…

I had the attention of many… while you walked right through me.

At that point you became my subject for which I studied…

I did my homework and passed every test….

And as soon as I passed the class I started to “Do Me” and without saying a word told you to kiss my A@$!

Now you love me…

Now you adore me…

And this is exactly where I wanted you to be…

I know I seem callous… but I swear I’m not.

I’m just guilty of having a sound mind with good intentions…

And a Perfect Man… I am not.

Where is the Love?

Where is the love?

What part of the game is this?

I thought I read the rulebook and the playbook…

FUCK!

Lets just say I THOUGHT I knew what it took!

Ol Heads told me to wait… They said chill Young Boah; you have plenty of time,

I laughed it off and said: “I got this my man… I don’t know about yours but I damn sure know about mine…

I was young, ambitious and determined to be undaunted by any task…

I was driven, eager and excited to STOP the generational curse.

Damn something told me that this “Cloud 9 Shit” wouldn’t last!

This situation absolutely has to get Better before it progressively gets worst.

What part of the game is this?

Something has to give… My spirit is broken. What’s wrong you ask?

I say that’s a Very good Question…

Is it                         A             Unnecessary Roughness?

                                B             A Foul

                                C             A Technical

Or                           D             All of the above

TIME OUT! WAIT! Where the hell is the love…

Secrets

SECRETS

PH Balanced for a women yet strong enough for men

Don’t get it twisted, women have more than men…

From your Nickel to your ten…

They all posess that inate ability to harbor hostility which creates that sense of mobility to get in trouble…

Brothers come on and lets get in this huddle as we began to go over the play…

Of how we will eventually get over feeling SOME TYPE OF WAY…

Secrets, Secrets, Secrets…

Her name wasn’t Victoria but she could have owned the entire franchise…

With the way she used her eyes in an effort to seduce the then uncharacterized mental and emotional abuse…

Had I been wise It would have been no surprise that this women had SECRETS.

We were suppose to tell each other everything yet this recipe was Missing something… something… like TRUTH.

I don’t think she realized what just happened was simply uncouth!

It takes a lot for a man to trust and simply love and not lust…

It takes a lot for a man to confide and be emotional…

So when you betray me… Woman I’ll go Postal!

My life, My love, My Time, My Energy…

My money , My  Trust, all betrayed when you decided to screw me…

Have you realized what kind of man that has now made me.

Secrets… Secrets… Secrets…

I can’t get past it.

The mere thought of commitment makes me sick….

I might have passed up a few good ones but will never know because I used them just for fun.

You see I wont allow you all to occupy my time but you may have a little of MY SPACE…

Just like the site I am able to pick and choose what I choose to save and what I choose to erase,,,,

Because I haven’t taken you seriously and the ball always remains in my court…

Its time to play by my rules now and that kind of sort…

WOW

I use to be a good man and now here I am… Tarnished because of your SECRETS.

I will never be the same but I must remain…Steadfast and focused on truth.

You are a mystery and often times a bit aloof…

Which makes sense…

Our conversation is Dense…

Damn… This is all common sense

How could I forget…

This is all due to your secret. SHIT!

Nice not Naive

Nice not Naïve

Constantly, Consistently, Constant and True

Frequently, ferverently, forever through and through…

Relentlessly

Uncompromisingly

Sacrificially

I`ve continuously… given you… ME.

You see… you see… You See…

I AM Just ME…  Despite what you may have perceived…

I am nice, NOT naïve.

My kindness is mistaken for weakness…

My smile is taken as meekness…

My chivalry is not dead, but it might as well be because its unappreciated instead… instead… instead of embraced as a nice gesture.

My niceness, my kindness, my gentleness, my being has just been sequestered…

TAKEN, Locked away until you’ve paid the debt you must pay…

I’ve identified you as an opportunist and I’ve happened to be number one on your list…

But now I’m stronger and wiser and to be Frank… I’m pissed!

You see… You see… You see…

I am just me… and despite what you may have perceived

I am extremely nice but not the hell Naïve.

You see you’ve taken a good thing and ruined it…

I’m done being your only resource and once you’re “on your feet” you keep it moving with no remorse…

I’ve let you beg, borrow and steal… but consider THIS your LAST MEAL.

Deal or No Deal?

Rather you’re my man fifthy Gran… My wife for whom I share my life…  or my Homegirl  who likes to just CHILLLL…  I’m done.

Make me priority for a change.

I am tired of being there for you when you go through but you’re never there for the shit the world puts me through…

Why am I always the go to when things go wrong yet I don’t know who to go to when my day has simply been crazy and long…

This is ridiculous. I am young black and gifted and this is what I put up with…

You are young black and… well… I think you catch my drift.

I will no longer… NOT speak my mind because I know your kind…

You will know exactly how I feel and that’s all too real.

You see once a good girl turns bad she’s gone forever, but once a good man turns bad… he THEN becomes the MAN you WISHED you NEVER HAD.

So let’s stop playing this game with you taking out all of your previous pain…

On this good brother that’s striving to please you…

It’s getting old shorty and you keep trippin and he’s bound to fuck around and leave you.

I’m nice not naïve, and if you still don’ get me… Ask my google throwback my boi…

Jeeves.

Double Minded

Double Minded’

Blinded

I wear the mask asking myself who am I

And why?

I do the things I do and say the things I say or simply… why I act this way?

I am one man in public, another in private…

I am seemingly admired by others but only if they knew… but I dare you to judge me because if only you wore my shoe…

I have a dark side… a place where I like to hide…

You See… SOME TIMES YOU DON’T WANNA BE: Where everybody knows your name!

I’m kinda in pain… the feeling is that of the similar emotion that one gets when it rains.

Except that when it rains for me… its not just precipitation drops that I see.

I am drained by emotion that causes me to want to fall into a deep sleep…

I am entangled in a web of deception that keeps my mind entwined…

All due to this intellectual stimulated, highly educated, somewhat sophisticated brother that resides in me, with a double mind…

A Mind, A mind… mind that’s creative and constantly thinking, of better ways to be better…

A mind that thinks often about his life and how his plight has enabled him to manage the storm through all types of weather…

I am a preacher on Sunday and can be a teacher any day…

I am your counselor on Monday and poet in every type of way…

I am a Big Brother on Tuesday and an Abercrombie model in my own little way…

I drive a truck on Wednesday and pimp a crown vic around the way…

I am a Director on Thursday and a Father and Husband Everyday…

Thank God is Friday because tomorrow is my day and Sunday I must pay…

My debts because of life’s tumultuous fine… all because of this Double Mind.

Sustainability

Sustainability

It’s the ability to imitate the mag through swag or the lack thereof… and unlike life I imitate the art of War through my intricate intimate detailed interwoven perspective that’s shared only with the entity who shares that keen eye that’s able to not only see but appreciate my individuality…

I am use to being my own muse and continuously reinventing… self.  I am gazing into the mirror where I see my photographic memory which is essentially a steep vintage sensory… it’s been through the ringer … beat, battered and torn yet I am still thoroughly impressed and yet it’s been worn.  However, it’s nothing like this feeling… knowing it’s there… and that the fabric is durable, thread is thick… which helps it… and I… stick… which adds value to all this wear and tear… Sigh.

I am because it is and it is because I am and you are me and I am you therefore we are!!! Simply because… THIS exists. This resiliency comes with a price and we all know that one gets what they pay for… it cost more than the average apparel and in making this decision I am starting to do a cost benefit analysis in my head as I’d like a return on this investment… this will take time and effort to maintain… this is a test of my agility and its all due to this friendship and the constant question of its sustainability.

Sure

Sure

When it’s said… is it meant to be implicit or sarcastic? I mean what does that mean? I ask you a question or make a statement and your response is “SURE”…  Really? Is that an answer or is that a message within a message that has been brought forth to state: I agree… or perhaps you disagree… yet without you judging me… you say to me… “SURE”.

Sure means clear, to be certain or lucid within the mind. Are you saying this to appease me or are you saying it to allow me to see… that your still processing the information that I’ve just dumped on you or that you aren’t sure how you feel about what I just said but in lieu of getting into a battle of words that you say this four letter word to give me a verbal outward expression that leaves a certain level of ambiguity.

 Is it me? Am I thinking too deep. You are who you are and I want to know what you feel but your brain functions faster than your words which keeps me paused, muted and while the volume continues to go neither up or down  and your picture looks at me just as clear as day the overall reception as well as my perception still remains cloudy.  So as I stare into your air I ask myself do I continue to keep you on or am I simply turned off? SURE…

Sure I understand. Sure that response made perfect sense and I am not going to search for more clarity… and wonder why the hell do you continuously… respond to me… in such a nonchalant, laidback indifferent way… is it me?

Or is it that in your mind everything is fine… boi stop trippin just pay attention. If my actions show  “this” while that “word” says “that”, let it be and stop overanalyzing me. If I’m listening intently and your eyes locked… have possession of me… which means that it’s you that I see… SURE! There’s no emotion yet my disposition shows a strong sense of uncanny devotion…  If this is a problem which you can’t seem to get over and you feel like you simply can’t take any more my question to you is: “Well what do you wanna do!” and my answer is simple: SURE.

Resurfaced

Resurfaced…

What was once an attraction now stands in our way as a distraction… This has become a disturbance in our meeting of the minds… our fusion… Our LOVE Connection!  I have to admit that it once was SEXY. I loved the way you whipped it and flipped it and squinted and bent it all while you vented. The commotion was my interpretation of devotion and made me desire that fire that l thought was gorgeous. Those perched lips glossed to perfection gave me an immediate erection when she said… she said… she said… yet no one ever gave a damn about what he said!

I was captivated the moment I saw you. You laughed I blushed, you smiled and I…I… PROPOSED.  All hell you know like I know… shit Everyone knows that you had me at HELLO! But I sorry, I forgot to get your NAME.  I mean I feel like I know you… but the you I saw and the u I see are two totally different entities. .. Wouldn’t you agree?

One of you has to live in Africa as you nurture and your humility is by far a sentiment that was and still remains an easy sell for stability. The other you has to live in Italy because your divine design in the culinary arena is out of this world which makes me proud to say: “That’s my girl!” The other dimension of you is just that… it’s a side… a half not a whole… a portion that’s hard as hell to control. This side is dark and hard to interpret. A translator is needed… these seats are heated and YES I’m sweating you…… still!

BUT… nothing has changed. You were colorful when I met you. Your lips had many layers. The gloss is what I saw which got my attention. The liner is what I crossed which I need not mention. The second layer is what I got when we kissed for the first time. But what I have now is that stuff that’s applied to your lips at the beginning of the day... That 1^st layer applied to an un-moisturized orifice. That concealer!

I’m now convinced that you’ve been wearing a mask. You’ve been hiding behind this picture perfect puzzle that had been put together yet never glued…. framed and hung by its participants yet never appraised and or insured. You are simply… a Mystery.

I love you I do but you knew when I said I do that this “love” was filled with ambiguity and obscurity and this certain sense of vagueness that now has resurfaced.

Transparency

Transparency

THIS… allows me to allow you to see me… To you its simplicity and to me its vulnerability.  I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place simply because I’m hiding. You’ve left me exposed and it’s an unfamiliar feeling… to me.

 I want you to know what I know but if you knew what I knew and saw what I saw you’d realize that this picture that you see has been shot totally in RAW. I am undeveloped and continue to hide in this darkroom waiting for someone with an apparatus to come nurture me and move me back and forth… someone to put some effort into me and spend time with me until they begin to see the black and white image of me…

Black and White… with me it’s NEVER that simple it’s not either or because with me there is sooo much more IN BETWEEN. This chemical imbalance has been mixed with H20 to dilute my potency… my strength, my energy, my influence… My effectiveness…  I have become a working solution. I am not mixed yet I’ve been mixed with the substance which is legal yet lies dormant and stagnant and reliant upon the temperature. More than 1 degree above or 1 degree below can affect my motion. Picture me on a reel as my life plays out so eloquently…

The mere thought of it all scares me and quite frankly it’s not you it’s not me it’s that voracious fear of Transparency.

Normalcy

Normalcy…

My sense and your sense make sense but her scent and my scent at times… just doesn’t. Does this make sense? Common sense isn’t as common as one may think because I am determined that this bulls@%t would drive many brothers to drink. I am not an expert but who needs a degree… when the temperature is over 100 and the humidity is at an all time high and the fog is seemingly thick and the thunder goes BOOM…. Its instinct… its… reflex… its experience… its history… See… it’s the mercuric chloride. It’s slightly volatile at ordinary temperatures.  Toxic by inhalation, ingestion, and skin absorption…. Which is why I simply need a SENSE of Normalcy?

Everyday it’s something different. One minute we are in love the next minute we are in war… but all is unfair when it comes to your war and my love which make me question? Is this fair?… it’s deeper than mesopelagic which spans from 200 to 1000 below sea level… its WAR and FARE led by Spiritual which is why we continue to be unlined, out of order, unsatisfied and seemingly unhealable. My My… its spiritual warfare which makes perfect sense because this battle is not mine… this battle it’s certainly not yours yet… we continue to FIGHT! Whom? Things that make you go hmmm. Its our innate ability to want to be in control and not be controlled. Yet the controller is the one who wrote the script for this curriculum… this game… this program we call life.

 It’s hard to maintain… when your only sense of normal… is what you continue to see. Which never results in Normalcy.

It's Complicated

It’s Complicated…

I love LOVE. But why does it hurt. I love you because I am you but in you is me which makes me see the random & sporadic emotional disORDER apparatus of self…love…

I love LOVE. You have the amazing ability to injure me and I have the amazing ability to feel the pain and see the pain and even hear the pain yet I am paralyzed from the Waist Up… the waist up… the waist up and am unfortunately unable to escape this disdain…

I love LOVE which makes me perfectly blind. It’s a walk in the darkness yet I don’t need your guidance because you see… this is ALL familiar territory! You see… that SICK sense once was capable of maneuvering around obstructions and heavy loads but now I’ve lost my sight…. I ignore being handicap and want others to look at me as if I’m normal  although my reality is…is that I’ve gotten use to loving LOVE so much that I’ve forgotten what it means to feel, taste and hear love because I’m spending too much time trying to see LOVE. I’m pretending that its still there yet it’s my memory that clearly plays tricks on me…

I love LOVE and it’s…it’s complicated…